Weight
loss journey entry 3
Never give up on yourself.
I looked in the mirror, and I was so mad at myself I just started to cry and cry. I just feel so frustrated with myself. I feel like I'm stuck. I cannot get to where I want to be in my journey. I just feel like I'm a disappointment. I tried to get my thoughts together and calm myself down, but I couldn't. I got in the shower and cried some more. I wanted to just go back to bed and sleep the day away. Sleep until things were the way I wanted them to be, but I know that couldn't and wouldn't happen. At this point in my life when I feel pain I cannot control, I speak it out loud.
In earlier years I would keep it all bottled up until I could no longer take it anymore and just try to end the pain for good without talking to anyone or giving anyone a sign I needed help. But now I know better and so I usually let someone know how I'm feeling to get feedback, but this time I'm not sure why I didn't. I got dressed and I headed to teach class. I smiled and danced and felt alive! No one would have known three hours ago I was a mess. I prayed so hard to be happy with the process and to let go and to never give up on myself! I didn't need anyone to pull me out of the hole this time. This time I had to do it on my own. I have to be my own super hero with this one.
And today I feel like I'm ready to take the next step. I've told myself it was time to get it together, but I don't think I was really ready. I hit rock bottom with my journey that day so today it's only up and out.
One day at a time. Good days and bad days. I'm only human...
Never give up on yourself.
I looked in the mirror, and I was so mad at myself I just started to cry and cry. I just feel so frustrated with myself. I feel like I'm stuck. I cannot get to where I want to be in my journey. I just feel like I'm a disappointment. I tried to get my thoughts together and calm myself down, but I couldn't. I got in the shower and cried some more. I wanted to just go back to bed and sleep the day away. Sleep until things were the way I wanted them to be, but I know that couldn't and wouldn't happen. At this point in my life when I feel pain I cannot control, I speak it out loud.
In earlier years I would keep it all bottled up until I could no longer take it anymore and just try to end the pain for good without talking to anyone or giving anyone a sign I needed help. But now I know better and so I usually let someone know how I'm feeling to get feedback, but this time I'm not sure why I didn't. I got dressed and I headed to teach class. I smiled and danced and felt alive! No one would have known three hours ago I was a mess. I prayed so hard to be happy with the process and to let go and to never give up on myself! I didn't need anyone to pull me out of the hole this time. This time I had to do it on my own. I have to be my own super hero with this one.
And today I feel like I'm ready to take the next step. I've told myself it was time to get it together, but I don't think I was really ready. I hit rock bottom with my journey that day so today it's only up and out.
One day at a time. Good days and bad days. I'm only human...
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