Never Give up on yourself

Weight loss journey entry 3

Never give up on yourself.

I looked in the mirror, and I was so mad at myself I just started to cry and cry. I just feel so frustrated with myself. I feel like I'm stuck. I cannot get to where I want to be in my journey. I just feel like I'm a disappointment. I tried to get my thoughts together and calm myself down, but I couldn't. I got in the shower and cried some more. I wanted to just go back to bed and sleep the day away. Sleep until things were the way I wanted them to be, but I know that couldn't and wouldn't happen. At this point in my life when I feel pain I cannot control, I speak it out loud.

In earlier years I would keep it all bottled up until I could no longer take it anymore and just try to end the pain for good without talking to anyone or giving anyone a sign I needed help. But now I know better and so I usually let someone know how I'm feeling to get feedback, but this time I'm not sure why I didn't. I got dressed and I headed to teach class. I smiled and danced and felt alive! No one would have known three hours ago I was a mess. I prayed so hard to be happy with the process and to let go and to never give up on myself! I didn't need anyone to pull me out of the hole this time. This time I had to do it on my own. I have to be my own super hero with this one.

And today I feel like I'm ready to take the next step. I've told myself it was time to get it together, but I don't think I was really ready. I hit rock bottom with my journey that day so today it's only up and out.

One day at a time. Good days and bad days. I'm only human...

You are what you eat.

You are what you eat!

Weight Loss Journey Entry 1

The most important part of my journey was figuring out why I "craved" different things. I have always been a big girl, I was never skinny, and even now I've lost a lot of weight, but I'm still a big girl. Lately, I have found myself craving cookies, bread, pasta, and stuff like that. I could eat nothing but graham crackers for every meal and be happy.

For the last few days, I have been journaling my feelings to figure out if it's related to what I want to eat. It seems that when I'm lonely I want graham crackers, crackers, and cookies. When I'm stressed and/or worried, I want cake, bread, pastas and stuff like that. 

Now I have to figure out my triggers. The next step is to cure my cravings and stop eating my feelings, figure out a different way to deal with what's going on in my mind... Because right now I'm angry, and I feel deprived because I'm telling myself I cannot have the thing I want!!! 

Dealing with the problems at hand. I know that some things are out of my control so that leaves me with the things I can control. What's that, you might be asking. Me. I can control me. I have decided to test out a few options: Number one, feeling stressed. I stop and pray. I drink 24 oz of water and I have 2 cups of cinnamon vanilla peaches. (Just add vanilla and cinnamon to organic canned peaches) It made me happy, and I was satisfied. 

I'm learning me everyday... Just enjoying the journey. 

Pictures are important to my journey.

Weight Loss Journey Entry 1

Well, if you don't know who I am or what I do, you might want to go back through my blogs and get a feel for who I am, but I'm a dance fitness instructor that has lost 70 pounds 6 years ago, and I've been on a journey to keep the weight off.

I'm now trying to tone up and get in better shape.

Topic for today:

Pictures are important to my journey.

I bet you're wondering why. Right?

Well, today I was getting dressed and looking in the mirror, and I saw the same big girl I was five years ago. It scared me! The first thing that comes to mind is "I'm getting fat again? I need to find a scale. Oh, my, how much do I weight! What have I been eating!!" Just mental going nuts for a moment!

I need to slow down, take some deep breaths, and remind myself the scale is not the answer, and I need to get dressed, but I couldn't. I was still frustrated and not happy with myself. I need to have a talk with myself (I know it sounds crazy, but hey, I'm my best friend and worst enemy at times). I took off all my clothes and looked at me in the mirror. I reminded myself that I have to like myself every day. I have to find 10 things I love about the person in the mirror before I could get dressed and leave. If not I'll be tugging on my clothes unable to give people eye contact. I would just be a mess until I felt better. (Better meaning not looking fat) so I give myself "the talk" and get dressed.

I head out the door to teach class honestly still not feeling great.

After class I take some pictures with some friends, and I'm like that's me? That's not the girl I saw in the mirror. My shirt felt too tight my butt looked big.  But in the picture I look like...well, me. So I get home, and I take a few pictures...And it was totally not what I saw in the mirror...I just started crying. I was so mad at myself. But it's just a lesson learned...my perception can be wrong at times. I have to stop being so hard on myself.

I'm not perfect... I'm just a girl getting fit one day at a time!